More Irony

When I walked out to my car after work yesterday, I found the trunk of my car, including my ribbon magnet that reads "Be Kind to Animals" covered in bird pooh!

Thank goodness I work at a car wash. But this does prove my theory... birds can't read.

On the Bright Side

And believe me when I tell you it's very difficult to find a bright side when you work at a car wash on a rainy (or threatening to rain)Sunday. However, detailing is super slow so the girls cleaned MY car. So I may not make millions and crappy weather effects my ability to make commission, but I almost always have a clean car. Not gonna lie... it was a stretch to find a bright side.

Irony?

My girlfriend's son, blew up a ziplock bag and popped it in his class. The teacher after figuring out what happened gave him a detention for "excessive noise." The teacher, by the way, is deaf.

Tension

I had a massage today. Heavenly. But have you ever noticed how you always hear that you are carrying tension in your back, neck and shoulders. Why don't we ever hear that we're carrying tension in our right elbow or our left big toe. Perhaps the human body needs to learn how to delegate better. Or perhps it needs to get one of those recycleable shopping bags to carry it around in. Just a thought...

Excessive Filth

In my efforts to be "more valuable" at work I decided to help with some actual detailing yesterday. We were short handed and I saw a need and filled it. Well I must say I have an enormous amount of respect for what these women do. They make detailing a car look easy. But let me tell you getting into the "nooks and crannies" as I tell customers is no easy task.

Today, a customer dropped off an SUV to be detailing, shampooed and have the leather seats conditioned. I went to take the car through the wash first and was repulsed by what I saw. This wasn't just a car that has had a bunch of kids in with some stray cheerios, the occasional milk or soda spot and some crumbs and dirt. The back seat looked like someone had fingerpainted with an ice cream sundae and then sprikled peanuts, loose change and misc crumbs on top. The side of the seat had what I hope was chocolate of some sort and not a bodily excrement. In between the seat belts there was a mixture of a bottle cap, crayon and what looked like a butter wrapper, all of which had now become a solid.

The bed of the SUV was actually cleanest part with only a huge amount of wirey dog hair everywhere. However, the front seat is another story. It just looks like liquids have been spilled everywhere, not just on the console and cup holders, but on the seats, the floor and yes even the steering wheel.

I noticed at one point that we had something called an "excessive filth" charge. I suggested to the bosses that we rename that because it could be a little offensive to say just an average mom with a standardly use/loved minivan. So we renamed it the "extra elbow grease" charge. Today however, I really thought we shuld have the option of calling it excessive filth when necessary.

So hats off to you detailing ladies. I do not know that I have the stomach or fotitude to do your jobs some days! Next time you get your car detailed think of how it looked before and how it looked after and remember gratuities are almost always accepted and appreciated. :)

Amusing

I was stuck behind the slowest moving RV with a handicapped vanity license plate that said "TARD." It made me chuckle.

Change

I had to get change from the bank today. I had two checks to cash and a bag for them to put it in because I don't like walking around with bundles of money in public. However... Note to self. Not a bright idea to walk into a bank with a plastic bag and tell them to "Fill it up!" Oops :)

30 Days Till "Chicago"

OH Crap!! That was a wake up call. You see just a couple of days ago I looked at the website for a local dinner theater and saw that the auditions for the musical "Chicago" were tentatively going to be in mid July since the show would go up in Sept.

Today however, the site shows that the auditions will be May 3rd & 4th. They are combining them with auditions for "Into the Woods." This is a shocking wake up call. I was planning on having April, May and June to get closer to where I want to be in by the auditions.

Now I am facing 30 days. I know it's not really what Spark people is about, but I feel like I almost need to think of myself as being on The Biggest Loser for the next 30 days in order to feel like I am going to be in a better physical condition for this audition.

Usually in this case, the callbacks are much later (weeks or a month or two). Which means I would have a second opportunity to show the director my physical dedication to the project if I was in even better shape then. Right now I need to focus on creating the best impression I can in the next 30 days, and pray that it's good enough to get me called back.

I am calling on all Spark people who read my blog or are on my friends list. If you don't see a status or a blog from me each day, PLEASE call me out! I need your help. Self discipline is NOT my strongest asset. In fact, I'm not so sure I would even list it as one of my assets anymore.

I have copied color images the CD liner notes for both soundtracks and attached them to the fridge, my laptop and the shelves in the pantry. I have dusted off my Catherine Zeta Jones ("Velma Kelly") Doll and put her in an even more prominent location in my room. I have already gone for a 30 minute walk and did an additional 30 minutes of stretching and strength training to the big musical numbers from the movie. I feel like I am in the right frame of mind but as Velma sings, "Now you see me going through it. You may think there's nothing to it. But I simply can not do it ALONE!"

I Hate it When...

Someone (in this case my boss) says to you, "Have we need to talk...tomorrow."

AAaaaaack! Why? ABout what? What did I do? Why TOMORROW? Ugh!

Now I know today was April Fool's Day, but this wasn't a prank. Literally, as he was leaving for the day he said that. So I walked him out and told him that's really not cool. Don't leave something "heavy" in the air for me to stew over all night.

Ultimately, he tried to allay my fears with things like, "If I was going to fure you, I would have called you in today." Not his best work, but I believe he understood, that through no intentional malice he sent my anxiety over the deep end and my paranoia to new levels.

For anyone who has never had a full on, knock down, dragged out anxiety attack. Let me clue you in. It's true what they say that they can be mistaken for a heart attack. All I seemed to be missing was the shooting pain down the arm.

There was an immediate tightening in my chest and a shortness of breath. My legs felt like jelly when I went to move and there was this overwhelming urge to burst into tears. And of course, no paper bag to breathe into in sight.

GOd bless the makers of Klonopin. It seems to be all that "talked me back down."