Sunday, February 20, 2011

Car Wash Etiquette

Apparently it's time to review a few basics. When the young lady at the car wash approaches your car to greet you be polite and roll your window down. SHe isthere to welcome you, explain how the car wash works if it's your first time and to share any specials or promotions going on. DO NOT just wave her off like some fly without so much as rolling the window down. Also, please do not just crack the window and "I don't want anything." I am not a homeless person going car to car to beg for money I am there doing my job.

When you DO roll the window it is not okay to continue to clip your finger nails and pitch them out the window (far too close to me) while I am talking to you. Also, if your passenger happens to be breast feeding, she may want to cover up for a minute when I approach the car.

It is not cool to beep your horn while waiting in the line, if one car doesn't move up fast enough or enter the car wash the INSTANT the lights turn green. In fact there should be NO beeping except in case of an emergency. Any beeping of horns will have me turn this car wash around so fast it will make your head spin. If you are in THAT much of a hurry, perhaps today ISN'T the day to wash your car. 9 out 10 times when people are in too much of a hurry tend to make a mistake in the car wash and wind up having to go through again or hold up the line.

Lastly, please do NOT throw your cigarette butts out the car window while you are waiting in line or vacuuming your car. It is still littering and cleaning up after you is not something we should have to do. We care about the appearance of our work place and would appreciate if you would respect that.

Friday, January 21, 2011

A Few Tips From the Blonde at the Carwash

First of all... GET OFF YOUR PHONE! This woman was in line today and I suddenly recognized her. She had been in line for a wash before Christmas. She was on her phone while paying at the terminal. She was on her phone while entering. She was STILL on her phone when she drove up on the guide rails and I began directing her (and shouting at her) to back up. She stayed on the phone as she moved back and forth enough to absorb the next person in line's wash and then trigger the rinse cycle while I was standing in the middle of it trying to help her. (Please note while she drove off in a soapy car she did not stop to apologize) Today, when I spotted her in line I recognized her because onece again SHE WAS ON HER PHONE. I politely stopped at her window and she rolled it down, she started to say something, and I interrupted her to say, "This time you may want to get off the phone."

For the record, I watched her on the camera and believe she insisted on going through still on her phone... *sigh*


When you enter the carwash, it is not a race. It is not a contest. It's not a game to see who can through the fastest. I have often had to watch people zoom through it. They don't let ANYTHING slow them down. Not soap, not the treddle pad, not the loud horn or stop light... and when they come around they say to me, "Your machine didn't do anything."

To which I reply, "You didn't really give it a chance. Now Mario, why don't we slow it down to at least Nascar Speed and try this again."


FOLLOW DIRECTIONS! The sign says "Enter. Turn on Wipers" I love it when people ask me "Why?"
"Well it's so you can see where you're going. I know it takes all the 'sport' out of it but do it anyway." The sign inside says "Stop. Put car in park." I have actually had people ask me, "So I put it in Neutral?"
I just do not understand how people can make something as simple as "Stop and Go" so damn complicated!


Please refrain from telling us that our machine ran into your car. Our machine is on a TRACK. 99 out of 100 times when we look at the camera footage a "collision" was caused by "operator error." It makes me wonder what posseses someone to drive forward into a moving machine.


When I take off your decorative magnets and hand them to you, don't look at me like I have just vandalized your car. I have just potentially saved them from washing down our drain or saved myself a shower as you drive back around and ask me to look for your sentimental magnets. Good rule of thumb. Remove all magnets, antenna toppers or after market outter decorations or kiss them good bye!


It is my job to stand outside and to greet you cheerfully, to explain our wash if it's your first time and explain our wash pass program to you. I do this job happily and year round. Which means, please have the courtesy to roll your window down, exchange pleasantries and treat me like a first class citizen. Just because I work at a carwash, doesn't mean I am any less important than you, smarter than you or deserving of courtesy or respect. So if I am willing to stand out in the cold until I can't feel my ears to make your experience more enjoyable and potrentially save you money, please remember you are in a toasty warm car and I am only asking for a moment of your time. Who knows, you could be the next person who gets themself stuck in the carwash and will need my help. Then won't you feel sheepish that you were rude and didn't want to hear what I had to say?


Ladies, please do not try to play the "helpless female" card with me. It doesn't work and I can't stand it. You can DO this... it's just a car wash. It is as simple as "Enter slowly, stop and exit slowly." Please do not get all flustered and act like I am asking you to pilot a space shuttle.


There are so many more tidbits and anecdotes... but perhaps another night

Friday, July 30, 2010

"Sugarism" #4

Me: "Wow! 36 years old and NOW they have me reading for the ingenue."

Sugar:"The what?"

Me: "The "tender, sweet, young thing."

Sugar: (reads the scene)"She doesn't seem very sweet."

Sunday, July 25, 2010

"Sugarism" #3

This is actually the original "Sugarism."

My husband left me (for the second time) and I was in bed, surrounded by my cats and crying. I turned to her and said, "Oh God! I'm going to become some crazy cat lesbian!"

and she replied, "Oh sweetie you're...not a lesbian."

"Sugarism" #2

Me:"Sugar.. bitter, defensive and insecure is unattractive."

Sugar: "I'm not Bitter."

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Mystery Car Conclusion

There are some surprises I just don’t always appreciate. One of them is what I call a mystery car. When I arrived today there was a Toyota Camry in the detailing center (not yet detailed). There were also a set of floor mats drying for a Sienna minivan however, NO minivan. In the office, there was a work ticket, but it was for a Honda Accord. The name on the ticket DID correspond with an appointment on the schedule but my partner in crime had neglected to mention what kind of car they were bringing in.
Clearly this looks like a case of the vehicle not being updated on the work ticket. However, the floor mats are a mystery and a concern. Because NO ONE wants to have to make the phone call to a customer that we forgot to put their floor mats back in because we set them out to dry.
Therefore the only rational explanation is that the customer actually DID bring in a Sienna minivan last night, but we washed it in hot water and it shrunk over night to a Camry. Luckily we had taken the floor mats out ahead of time. Thank goodness we got that cleared up.

A "Sugarism..."

"One night, when I couldn't sleep, I caught this show about insomniacs..."