Out of Sorts

Where does one go when they are "out of sorts?" I mean, I never see them on sale at Target on on a price rollback at Walmart. I have never seen an infomercial for sorts or spotted anyone with sorts to spare on Craig's List. So when you are feeling out of sorts, how do you get more sorts? It's one of those cosmic questions.

Communication Devices

At our little "manager's meeting" this morning, we were discussing the need to be able to do our respective jobs, that take us out of the office, and yet be able to take care of customers who walk into the office. So I suggested walkie talkies.

I explained that if I was out at the car wash and saw someone going in but wasn't going to be able to get right there, I could simply announce over the line that a customer was going into the office and who ever was closest could call out that they could take care of it.

My boss thought that was a great idea.

Then I said, "Oooo we could get Iron Man walkie talkies."

He replied,"One step too far."

*sigh*

Dream

Last night I dreamed that I was on America's Next Top Model. No doubt this was because I had watched the finale before bed. What was interesting was how "real" it seemed. I wasn't like some natural supermodel and just sailing on through the competition. In fact, ironically, I lost. I came in second to the girl who actually did win this latest round. You would think since it was MY dream I would have at leats let myself win.

My Streisand Complex Continues

I am a huge Barbara Streisand fan and one day hope to play Fanny Brice in Funny Girl. I have always thought the part rang true to me as I am not a "conventional beauty" by any means. I have a prominent proboscis (nose).

Today is just furhter proof of that destiny, as I was sitting and eating noodles while watching Sugar play tennis and a lady bug flew *smack* into the side of my nose and landed in my noodles.

I once again briefly considered getting my nose "done" (I like Sandra Bullocks nose) but then quickly reminded myself of the lyrics Streisand Sang to the song "I'm Still Here." She sang, "Ikept my clothes and kept my space. I kept my nose to spite my face!"

So I am keeping my nose and fear not, no ladybugs were injured in this story... just a little dazed.

Not to Question God But...

What were you thinking puting testicles on the outside?

Shit!

So my girlfriend's teenage son has had a pain in his side for months now. They took him to the doctor and did some blood work which all came back normal. They also did a cat scan. They can't quite tell if it's a blockage, an ulcer, acid reflux, etc. So apparently he needed to give a sample of #2. He took his sweet time getting around to it too. So finally he did on Saturday and it needed to keep. I was not happy to hear that there was poop in our freezer.

Anyway, Sugar was going to bed and telling her hubby that she had to get up earaly and drop some shit off. He asked, "Oh? What do you have to do?"

I replied, "She's not speaking metaphorically! Remember there is Poo in our freezer!"