Friday, January 21, 2011

A Few Tips From the Blonde at the Carwash

First of all... GET OFF YOUR PHONE! This woman was in line today and I suddenly recognized her. She had been in line for a wash before Christmas. She was on her phone while paying at the terminal. She was on her phone while entering. She was STILL on her phone when she drove up on the guide rails and I began directing her (and shouting at her) to back up. She stayed on the phone as she moved back and forth enough to absorb the next person in line's wash and then trigger the rinse cycle while I was standing in the middle of it trying to help her. (Please note while she drove off in a soapy car she did not stop to apologize) Today, when I spotted her in line I recognized her because onece again SHE WAS ON HER PHONE. I politely stopped at her window and she rolled it down, she started to say something, and I interrupted her to say, "This time you may want to get off the phone."

For the record, I watched her on the camera and believe she insisted on going through still on her phone... *sigh*

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When you enter the carwash, it is not a race. It is not a contest. It's not a game to see who can through the fastest. I have often had to watch people zoom through it. They don't let ANYTHING slow them down. Not soap, not the treddle pad, not the loud horn or stop light... and when they come around they say to me, "Your machine didn't do anything."

To which I reply, "You didn't really give it a chance. Now Mario, why don't we slow it down to at least Nascar Speed and try this again."

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FOLLOW DIRECTIONS! The sign says "Enter. Turn on Wipers" I love it when people ask me "Why?"
"Well it's so you can see where you're going. I know it takes all the 'sport' out of it but do it anyway." The sign inside says "Stop. Put car in park." I have actually had people ask me, "So I put it in Neutral?"
I just do not understand how people can make something as simple as "Stop and Go" so damn complicated!

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Please refrain from telling us that our machine ran into your car. Our machine is on a TRACK. 99 out of 100 times when we look at the camera footage a "collision" was caused by "operator error." It makes me wonder what posseses someone to drive forward into a moving machine.

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When I take off your decorative magnets and hand them to you, don't look at me like I have just vandalized your car. I have just potentially saved them from washing down our drain or saved myself a shower as you drive back around and ask me to look for your sentimental magnets. Good rule of thumb. Remove all magnets, antenna toppers or after market outter decorations or kiss them good bye!

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It is my job to stand outside and to greet you cheerfully, to explain our wash if it's your first time and explain our wash pass program to you. I do this job happily and year round. Which means, please have the courtesy to roll your window down, exchange pleasantries and treat me like a first class citizen. Just because I work at a carwash, doesn't mean I am any less important than you, smarter than you or deserving of courtesy or respect. So if I am willing to stand out in the cold until I can't feel my ears to make your experience more enjoyable and potrentially save you money, please remember you are in a toasty warm car and I am only asking for a moment of your time. Who knows, you could be the next person who gets themself stuck in the carwash and will need my help. Then won't you feel sheepish that you were rude and didn't want to hear what I had to say?

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Ladies, please do not try to play the "helpless female" card with me. It doesn't work and I can't stand it. You can DO this... it's just a car wash. It is as simple as "Enter slowly, stop and exit slowly." Please do not get all flustered and act like I am asking you to pilot a space shuttle.

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There are so many more tidbits and anecdotes... but perhaps another night

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